Rien generally had several days of notice when he was being sent out on a mission, but once in a while there were special circumstances. He got a call of the kind he had begun to dread just a few days later – in the middle of the night. That was never a good sign, in fact it was an extraordinarily bad sign.

He’d taken his phone out into the other room to answer it, going over to stare out at the garden through the window of the back door. About all he could say was yes and no and I understand and listen to what sounded like the voice of doom. Shinji was not going to like this. At ALL.

Sighing, he shut his phone and slipped it absently into his pocket after the call, staying where he was and staring blankly out at the dark garden. He only had a few hours before he had to leave, and while he would be home much sooner than usual, only gone for a day, well…this kind of a job just inherently had a much higher potential of things going wrong, maybe minor things, but maybe not so minor.

And if he ended up screwing up it was only going to be worse.

Shinji woke when the phone rang and just watched in silence as Rien got up and left the room. That answered the question of who it was very clearly and Shinji felt cold and sick as he tried not to listen to Rien talking to whoever was on the other end in that stoney voice.

Kippei sat up with him, and Shinji clung to his hand like a lifeline, but when Rien hung up the phone there was just silence in the house and Shinji felt like it was suffocating him. But he didn’t dare to say a word, because he wasn’t sure if it would end up being tears instead and he was hoping he was better than that now.

Sighing, Rien rubbed his face with his hands and headed back in to the bedroom, giving the two of them a faint, crooked smile. He was sorry to have woken them at such an hour, but he knew they would want to be awake if he was leaving.

“I…have to go,” he said finally. “I gotta be on a plane in a few hours.” And he needed to pack, though he wouldn’t be taking much with him, just a change of clothes and a few basic necessities. Instead of doing that, though, he just crawled back onto the bed and curled up with them, laying in Shinji’s lap and resting his head against Kippei’s knee.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, knowing it was stupid to apologize but feeling the need to anyway.  There was nothing about this situation that didn’t suck.

That Rien was sorry only made the lump in Shinji’s throat grow, his stomach fall further and his heart ache horribly. He looked to Kippei for helped, not trusting himself at all with this. Rien had to leave in the middle of the night. In the middle of the fucking night! There was definitely going to be something wrong…something was already wrong, that was why Rien had to go, right?

“Ki?” He sounded completely uncertain, and he was.

“That’s short notice,” Kippei commented, watching Rien concernedly and stroking Shinji’s hair in slow, soothing strokes. “Shhh,” he murmured. “Shh, it’s okay. It’ll be okay.”

Rien shrugged. “I won’t be gone long,” he murmured, cuddling in against Shinji and rubbing his cheek against his shoulder. “Only a day. Then I’ll be right back, I promise.”

“Why so short?” Kippei muttered, though he doubted Rien could tell them. “Is that…normal?” he asked doubtfully.

“Oh sure, sometimes,” Rien answered, sighing a little as he wrapped his arms around Shinji and hugged him tight. “It happens, just a special job or somethin’. Nothin’ to worry ’bout.”

“Well, I’m worried, so screw you!” Shinji bit out, but his lower lip trembled and he could feel his eyes prickling and really, this just sucked. He wrapped his arms tight around Kippei’s neck and hid there, willing the feeling of terror to fade, but it stuck firmly in his gut.

Rien bit his lip and sat back, hugging his knees and watching them helplessly, not knowing what to say.  Yeah, it sucked, and there was some reason to worry, but he was reasonably sure he’d be fine, he just couldn’t really explain to them…well, anything really. Except… they had promised.

“Okay.” He took a deep breath. “I’ll tell you everything I know.” Which wasn’t a lot, but it should help, right?

Shinji sat bolt upright and stared at him with mouth agape and shock written clearly on all features. Wasn’t that completely, stupidly illegal? What if their house was bugged or something? But he wanted to know…even needed to, on some level. It was a show of trust he had not expected, and it was all the more valuable for it.

“You…you will?”

“No more secrets, remember?” Rien answered ruefully, grinning wryly at him and reaching out to pull him into his arms. “C’mere, you.” He snuggled Shinji close and just breathed for a minute, reminding himself that this, here, was what was most important.

“They want me to go in and pull out another agent who’s got himself in a bad spot, I been there before so I know the area, I can just drop in and go instead of someone else taking the time to learn it. Time gets critical once somethin’ goes bad, so the sooner I get there, the better. Don’t think I’ll have too much trouble, but yeah…it’s a little more dangerous than what I been doing.  I’m gonna be careful, though. I’ll come back safe, I promise.”

That wasn’t helping at all! Every word had Shinji growing paler, looking from Rien to Kippei continuously, filled with horror. Something had already gone wrong, and they wanted to send Rien in to fix it? Shinji knew Rien could do it, but that didn’t mean he wanted him to. It sounded dangerous and far too unsafe and just not anything Shinji wanted Rien anywhere near. But Rien promised to come back safe and Shinji also knew he was only making everything harder by freaking out about it. So he sat quietly, shivering a little and feeling drained.

“How long?”

“I got about three hours until I have to leave, need to be on a plane at six,” Rien told him, hugging him close and looking worriedly at Kippei, knowing that Shinji might freak out over the details once he got them, and not sure if it would have been smarter to wait and tell them after he got back.

Kippei sighed heavily, feeling worried too, but knowing there wasn’t anything he could do about it and he’d always trusted Rien to take care of himself before.

“Then we have time to go sit in the hot tub for awhile,” he pointed out finally, thinking it was a much better place for talking.

Shinji couldn’t agree more, but neither could he let go, so he just clung and let them lead the way out, not bothering to take his clothes off, sinking into the water gratefully and turning on the heat. It helped thaw the shivers but not the source of the cold and he found himself looking wearily at Rien, not even able to think to three hours time when he wouldn’t be there and Hyun-ki would wonder where he was and Shinji wouldn’t be able to explain. He sighed glumly and sank deeper into the water.

“This sucks.”

“I be home tomorrow,” Rien promised, stroking his cheek, and wrapping an arm around him, looking hopeful because he hoped it would help, but he kind of doubted it.  Really, what was he supposed to say?

Kippei shook his head, finding a bottle of wine and some glasses before he climbed in after them. “Here,” he said dryly, handing them each a glass. “Let’s make a toast, hm? And believe in ourselves,” he added softly. “All of us.” That Rien would be fine and come back safe, that he and Shinji would be alright staying behind and taking care of Hyun-ki and each other…  that everything would work out.

Shinji took the glass obediently and nodded to the toast, feeling reprimanded a litte for not having enough faith, in their relationship and in Rien and in life really. But shit happened and he didn’t want it to happen to Rien, not now or ever. He took a deep swallow of wine and let it start to numb him a little.

“It’ll be fine,” Shinji agreed softly. It had to be, after all.

“I’ll drink to that,” Rien nodded, taking his own drink and sighing a little as the warmth of the alcohol and the heated water began to relax him, easing his tension.

Kippei gave him a searching look over the top of Shinji’s head, debating whether Rien’s insistence that he would be fine was based on real confidence or just bravado, if the mission was going to be more potentially dangerous than he had implied. He finally decided that Rien looked pretty comfortable with it and would probably be fine, and began to relax as well.

He reached over to stroke Shinji’s hair, smiling reassuringly at him. “You gonna be okay?”

“Just peachy,” Shinji grumbled. He didn’t like it, but he didn’t have to either and he could live with it. With Hyun-ki to distract him it wouldn’t even seem like that long before Rien was back again, he knew. It was just his head failing to adjust to the change, even though it sort of knew it was coming.

“Just can’t get used to it, even if I expect it, you know?”

Rien opened his mouth, hesitated, then closed it again without saying anything. Kippei gave him a curious look, wondering what he was going to say, but decided not to ask.

“I’m sorry it’s such short notice,” Rien murmured finally, taking Shinji’s hand and lacing their fingers together. “When I get back, though… want to take a day for us and take Yuni and Kippei to the zoo?” They never had gotten around to going with Kippei, and Hyun-ki would no doubt love it – Rien doubted she’d ever been to anything of the kind.

“Yes!” Shinji agreed immediately. “We can show her real KiRi’s!” He had amazingly good memories of his date with Rien, and the thought of making more with the whole family thrilled him. “I’ll charge the camera and get everything ready today. That’ll give me something to do…” Because no way was he going to school, he’d be a total wreck.

Rien laughed, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek – Shinji was really just the most adorable thing ever. “Yeah, sounds good,” he agreed.

And sometime when he got home, he needed to talk to them about him retiring from his job altogether, because even if Shinji was going to feel responsible he could not keep going on like this forever, and honestly at this point did not want to.

“Ki…” he started, and then shook his head. “Never mind. Talk to you guys ’bout that when I get home.” He didn’t want to unbalance Shinji’s emotional state further before he left.

Shinji eyed him curiously but had no idea what he’d been going to say, and he didn’t want to upset Rien when the man had to go do god only knew what. Shinji refused to be responsible for Rien screwing up because he was curious about stupid stuff that didn’t matter.

“Love you, Ri.”

Rien smiled warmly at him, leaning over to give him a soft, lingering kiss. “I love you too,” he said gently. “Both of you, love you more than anything in the world. I come back to you, I promise,” he noted softly. “Always. Can’t live without you no more, y’know that.” And he liked to think they couldn’t really do without him, either.

“We know,” Shinji agreed softly, letting it soothe the ache in his chest and he curled up against Rien’s side on the bench, turning on the bubbles and letting the water gently massage away the stiffness.

“So, I was thinking that maybe we should hire Ishan to give Yuni some language lessons…”

“Yeah?” Kippei looked at him bemusedly, wondering why he thought it was necessary. “You think she needs it? She’s young enough to pick up languages pretty quickly, especially when she’s surrounded by it, and she seems to be doing okay with it, I thought…” Then again, he didn’t spend as much time with her as Shinji and Rien did, being that school and studying kept him busier in general.

“Yeah, I just thought…she might like someone to explain what some words mean, or ways to say things right and why it’s that way…stuff we can’t tell her.” Shinji knew he would want someone explaining things to him if he were in her shoes.

“She seem to be figurin’ things out pretty quickly,”  Rien pointed out. “She’s real quick pickin’ things up, gonna be a real bright kid once she goes to school,” he noted proudly. “But it might be a good idea, I guess.” Couldn’t hurt, anyway.

“We needa get her name changed when I get back, too,” he added, grimacing. “You guys might wanna put your heads together an’ get one decided on by the time I get back, has to be done real soon.”

“Kay,” Shinj agreed quietly because while he didn’t like it, it really did have to be done, and soon. She wasn’t safe until it was done and he wanted her safe. Now.

“She’s so cute…it scares me how badly I want to protect her.”

Kippei shifted a little, his expression tightening, and Rien gave him a concerned look, knowing that this was one of the reasons why Shinji and even Akira’s injuries due to the accident had messed him up so badly. Kippei wanted to protect damn near everybody that way, but especially Shinji, and while the train wreck and Shinji’s coma in no way could have been his fault or something he or anyone else could have protected Shinji from, it had fairly devastated him that he not only hadn’t been able to, but had come through it with comparatively minor injuries himself.

“Yeah,” Kippei said softly at last, pressing a kiss to Shinji’s temple. “I know.”

Realising what Kippei was thinking of, Shinji reached out to stroke his cheek, his smile sad but understanding. He’d gotten used to the fact he’d hurt Kippei, and there was nothing he could do about it. Kippei would feel what he felt, and nothing would change that. In the end, Kippei had done everything possible to protect him after he woke up, and that was the part that really mattered.

“Can we have pizza for dinner?” He was trying to change the subject, and he doubted anyone would feel like cooking before Rien got back.

“Sure,” Kippei agreed, stroking Shinji’s hair and smiling ruefully, not entirely sure that Shinji was going to feel like eating when dinner came around, depending on how worried he got about Rien.

“What time do you have to go, Ri? You going to be here for breakfast?”

Rien shrugged, looking up at the lightening sky. “Maybe…I got an hour and a half, maybe two before I have to go, guess we could wake Yuni up early.”

“Let’s do that!” Shinji agreed immediately, wanting to at least have breakfast before Rien had to go. Kind of like a last supper deal, only that had better not really be the last one. He got out of the spa and wrapped a towel around his hips before going in to wake Yuni, sneaking into her room and scooping her up out of bed, carrying her back out the back and sitting on the edge of the spa, just watching her sleep and waiting for her to wake up.

“Wakey wakey pretty Yuni.”

She yawned and rubbed her eyes, looking adorably confused, and Rien reached over to ruffle her hair.

“Good morning, sweetheart,” he told her, grinning at them both.

“Maybe I should make breakfast,” Kippei mused. “Since Rien is leaving.” He wasn’t a great cook, but he could make the basics.

Shinji looked at him skeptically, not at all sure they wouldn’t get burnt toast dipped in orange juice, but he wasn’t going to argue and simply rocked Hyun-ki back and forth, smiling at the sleepy look on her face.

“Hey beautiful girl. You want some juice?”

Kippei returned his look with a dryly amused one. “I can make scrambled eggs and toast, Shinji,” he noted. Which he’d done before on occasion when Rien wasn’t home and Shinji didn’t feel like doing it. He looked down at himself to make sure he was at least wearing boxers before he climbed out of the spa, reaching for a towel of his own and drying himself off, leaning over to kiss the top of Yuni’s head before he wandered inside.

Sighing, Rien gave Shinji a wry look. “You better take her inside, I’m not dressed,” he pointed out.

Oh, yeah. Shinji smirked at him anyway and deliberately licked his lips before taking her in, sitting at the table where they could watch Kippei cook and drink juice. He yawned, feeling suddenly tired again at the idea of Rien leaving for even a day and having to take care of anything by himself. He had to admit, he wasn’t that great at taking care of anything.

“Ki, can you pour some juice?”

Kippei looked over at them and chuckled, both of them looking sleepy and way too cute. “Sure,” he agreed, getting each of them a glass and setting them on the table in front of them, grinning at the picture they made as he went back to work.

“We’re gonna have to tell her,” he murmured eventually, figuring that Shinji did not want to be the one to do it.

“That’s Rien’s job,” Shinji noted grumpily. “He’ll explain it better anyways.” He looked up as Rien appeared in the doorway with a towel wrapped deliberately low around his hips, eyes pleading for someone else to do it in a way that wouldn’t make her cry, or Shinji was going to snap.

“What’s my job?” Rien asked, giving him a puzzled look as he came over to pick Yuni up and give her a kiss on the cheek. “How’s my morning glory, hm?” he asked her, tickling her gently until she laughed.

“Juice!” she told him, holding up her cup to share if he wanted some, and he looked amused. Juice, along with cookies and hot chocolate and Shinji, was one of her favorite things.

“That’s yours,” he told her. “I get some for me, don’ worry.”

“To tell her what’s going on, because if she starts crying as soon as you head for the door I’m smacking you hard up the head as soon as you walk back through it,” Shinji ground out, then sighed because he was getting angry for no real reason, just taking his own frustation out where he could and that wasn’t fair.

Rien blinked at him, then shrugged. “I’m goin’ to work, I be back tomorrow, what else you gotta tell her? I go to work all day sometimes, she ain’t gonna think anything unless I ain’t there to tell her goodnight…just tell her I had to work late and she’ll see me in the morning.”

Shinji glared so hard he would have disintegrated Rien on the spot if he had lazer vision or some other super power. But he was only human, and couldn’t save Rien from his stupidly dangerous job or make sure he came home to kiss Yuni good night and somehow that just grated.

“You tell her!”

“I…” Rien looked helplessly at Kippei, not seeing any reason to do so and not wanting to needlessly upset her, especially as Shinji had demanded it be done without making her cry, which was likely impossible.

“Breakfast first,” Kippei said firmly, bringing over a plate of toast and setting it on the table, nudging Rien to sit down and start eating while he went back to keep an eye on the eggs.

“One of us will tell her, Shinji,” he promised quietly. “But let’s eat first.”

Sighing in relief, Rien handed Yuni back to Shinji with a last kiss on the cheek, hoping that it might make Shinji feel better to be holding her.

“M’sorry,” he murmured, stroking Shinji’s arm apologetically as he took a seat beside them.

Shinji just shook his head, knowing it wasn’t Rien’s fault at all and that he was being irrational, but he knew Hyun-ki would ask, where is Rien and why is Shinji taking care of me today and that look on her face and confusion in her eyes would kill him. He was feeling too raw about the whole thing already.

“It’s okay,” he mumbled, taking a piece of toast and nibbling on it before offering some to Hyun-ki to drool all over.

She was watching them all curiously, knowing she was being talked about but not sure what was going on, and she accepted the distraction of the toast without protest, finding food more interesting than whatever the adults were talking about.

Kippei brought the eggs over shortly and took a seat himself, pouring some juice and informing Rien that if he wanted coffee he could get up and make it himself.

“Nah, I’m good,” Rien answered lazily, grinning to himself in amusement because sometimes where Kippei drew his lines was just funny.

Shinji looked at them both and his nose wrinkled in distaste because coffee just smelt bad. Hyun-ki, he was sure, would agree. He grinned and kissed the top of her head, looking tentatively at Kippei and pointing to the teapot, which was steaming a little.

“Does that mean tea isn’t too much to ask for?”

“Umm…” Kippei looked from one to the other of them and then closed his mouth without saying anything, getting up to make Shinji a cup of tea and bringing it over to him.

Rien laughed so hard he nearly hurt himself. If he’d complained, he knew Kippei would have gone and made him coffee anyway, no matter what he said, but it was pretty hilarious to watch the way Shinji had Kippei wrapped around his little finger so much that he barely even had to ask.

“You’re so cute, Ki.”

Kippei gave him a dirty look, and plunked down a second mug of tea in front of him.  “Be happy,” he ordered, getting a cup for himself as well before he sat down again. Rien just kept laughing at him.

Shinji grinned and squirmed down into his chair so he could catch one of Kippei’s feet between his own under the table, settling comfortably and sipping at his tea, reaching over to spoon eggs onto Yuni’s plate when she looked over at them cautiously, not sure she could have some. He pet her hair and helped her pick up the fork, then left her to it, not caring if they both ended up covered in scrambled egg. It was worth it if she enjoyed it.

“You really think you’ll get back tonight?”

“Tomorrow,” Rien corrected. “Mid-morningish, by noon for sure. Early morning if I’m lucky,” he added, shrugging as he took a mouthful of toast with scrambled eggs piled on top.

Kippei remembered times when Rien had, in fact, been gone less than a day, back the same evening or in the middle of the night, but they had mostly been those other kind of missions that Rien didn’t take anymore.

“Take as much time as you need,” he noted softly, not wanting Rien to make any mistakes because he was rushing and in a hurry to get home by a certain time.

Shinji shivered as soon as he realised what Kippei was saying, the thought of Rien making a mistake sending terror through him. He shook his head and took a mouthful of eggs to stop himself from demanding Rien not go, knowing full well that wasn’t even an option.

“Stay safe,” he corrected himself softly.

“I will,” Rien promised them both. “I will.”