Rien wasn’t entirely looking forward to this conversation, but he’d promised to tell them everything he knew about Hyun-ki, and they did need to know, if only so they didn’t accidentally frighten her with things. It was, he knew, the only reason Shinji had asked at all.

He sat cross-legged on their bed as he waited for the others to join him, hugging his pillow and rather wishing he had something like Kiri to hold. He almost wanted to ask if he could borrow him, but Shinji would probably want to be holding onto Kiri himself for this conversation.

Sighing, Rien smiled crookedly at both of them as they climbed into bed, Kippei reaching over to ruffle his curls and give him a reassuring smile.

Shinji was only more nervous, having put Hyun-ki to bed, tucking her in with Shin the bunny and singing her a soft lullaby while she fell asleep. She was too cute, too innocent for the things he knew Rien was going to say. He instinctively reached for Kiri, but then placed him carefully in Rien’s lap and went to curl up against Kippei’s side inside, just watching with wide blue eyes, almost certain he didn’t want to know what things would be learned.

Blinking a little in surprise, Rien took Shinji’s tiger gratefully, trading his pillow for it and hugging it comfortably, sighing a little as he tried to figure out where to start. What to even say.

“I don’t know…” he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck a little uncomfortably. “I dunno how to do this. What do you want to know?” he asked hopefully, knowing they wouldn’t really know how to answer that question any better than he did.

Kippei wrapped his arm around Shinji and cuddled him close, kissing his hair and giving Rien an encouraging nod. Whatever he could tell them, really. He was the only one who understood what she said completely, was able to pick up on things the rest of them missed.

“Well…where’s she from? Who is she? Was she always…alone?” Shinji wasn’t sure where he wanted Rien to start, but he thought he might burst from anticipation if he didn’t start soon, so he just said the first thing that came to his head.

“What was life like for her?”

Rien shrugged, grimacing a little. “All I know is… stuff I guessed, from what she says or… what she’s afraid of,” he muttered, not liking any of it and liking even less having to say any of it out loud.

“Don’t think anyone ever loved ‘er before, least – not like we’d call it. She’s scared of men an’ loud noises and I’m near sure she’s used to bein’….yelled at, punished even, for things as ain’t really her fault, or for doin’ things any kid does, or for accidents. Not entirely sure what that’d mean but she acts like she’s been hit sometimes, an’ it don’t surprise me. Stuff like that.”

Shinji stiffened immediately, because he was certain Rien didn’t mean a smack on the bottom. The idea of someone hitting Hyun-ki made him furious, his face darkening and he scowled as he pressed himself closer in against Kippei’s side to keep himself from running circles around the house in frustration because he couldn’t go hit the bastards back.

“Her dad…he did bad stuff, right? Was she exposed to it?”

Rien shook his head. “Hard to tell, an’ she’s young enough if she was that it would’ve seemed like… jus’ the way things were, y’know? Not sure if he’d be the one made her so afraid of men in general, like she was of Ki f’r so long, or if that’d be someone else, but she’s ain’t had it easy, any way y’look at. Fire scares her an’ that’s my fault, set the place on fire around her an’ prob’ly a good thing she don’t know it was me. Water don’t seem to bother her none but I think….” He hesitated, scratching his head and shrugging a little.

“Seems like she been locked up some, like… in a closet or cupboard or somethin’. You heard it Shin, earlier she were tellin’ her bunny not to be scared of the blanket fort because it was all dark and closed in. Dark itself don’t seem to bother her as much as bein’ closed in, not bein’ able to get out again.”

Shinji shivered, not liking that at all and his fingers twitched, wanting to hug Kiri but not willing to take him off Rien.

“She’s not Harry Potter, what the hell…bastards. She always asks for stuff too…like in the spa, she asked if she could have cheese. What kid, when a plate of food is put in front of them, stops and frets and asks if she can have some?”

Noticing Shinji’s twitchy fingers, Rien gave in to the need to snuggle, moving over and cuddling up on Kippei’s other side, putting the tiger in the middle where he and Shinji could both hold on to him.

“One as never had anything,” he noted softly. “Never allowed to have anythin’, mos’ likely. Grownups seems to have mostly ignored her, or been angry with her all the time, or just….” He stopped, liking that idea even less, and it was completely pure speculation. “Teased her with stuff,” he muttered finally. “Showed her things an’ didn’t let her have them, telling her she was bad or stupid or too young or… I dunno. Somethin’ like that. Gave her things an’ then took ‘em away, maybe, like she shouldn’t had ‘em in the first place.”

Shinji gaped at him, unable to imagine what sort of monster could do that to a kid, especially one like Hyun-ki, who didn’t know how to be bad. He was so angry he could cry with the frustration of not being able to do anything about it. It just didn’t make sense, she was just a little girl.

“But…why?”

Rien shook his head again, curled in against Kippei, reaching across him to find Shinji’s hand and tangling their fingers together, squeezing tight.

“I dunno, baby,” he whispered, closing his eyes against the aching burn of the feeling, knowing that such a beautiful little girl had been so badly treated by the ones who should have loved her.

Kippei held them both and kissed their hair, murmuring soothingly to them, feeling terribly sad about all of it, feeling like Shinji the helpless anger that was useless to do anything about it, the need to love her madly and somehow make up for all of it.

“We love her,” he reminded them softly. “She’s ours now, and we’ll love her.”

Shinji wasn’t sure that was good enough, but it was all they could do so he just sighed and slumped down into Kippei’s lap, curling up there and hiding his face and dark expression against Kiri’s fur.

“What else is she scared of? There’s other stuff, right?”

Rien bit his lip, and sighed. “Ain’t much else I been able to pin down to so many words… in general, she’s scairt of being bad, messin’ up, getting in trouble, makin’ people angry with her. Doin’ the wrong thing, an’ I think the way she been raised damn near ever’thing were the wrong thing, y’know what I mean?” he noted wryly.

“She think she gotta stay quiet, stay outta the way, an’ don’t remind people she’s there – she more comf’tble with us now, but she still worry if we don’ react to somethin’ well… think everythin’s her fault, like.” Because he’d be willing to bet that in her short life she’d been treated like almost everything had been.

“Well that’s just great,” Shinji grumbled. “So the girl who needs to be treated like glass is stuck with a dad who could snap at any second for no good reason. That’s just great.” He knew he was going to hurt her, and badly most likely. He had no idea how to prevent it  and the very thought of it made him sick to his stomach.

“It all sucks.”

Rien reached instantly to comfort him, hating the idea of Shinji being so afraid of himself, not believing that it was nearly so bad as he felt.

“No,” he murmured, taking Shinji’s face in his hands and kissing him gently, soft and warm. “She’ll be fine, you’ll be fine, beautiful. You will.”

Kippei agreed, but he was slightly distracted by the wamrth that filled his chest at the sight of Rien comforting Shinji like that, the tender expression in his face and voice. It felt good, and he leaned his head against theirs and stroked Shinji’s hair reassuringly.

Shinji was far from sure it would be fine, but he had them there, with him warm and safe and it was all he could ask for. He forced himself to let go of the fear and anger, but it left him feeling tired and drained, grateful that they were in bed and he lay there, just holding on for a long time before he looked hard at Rien, as if trying to memorise his face.

“You’ll be safe, right?”

“Yeah, princess,” Rien assured him, holding on just as tight and feeling grateful for Kippei’s strength on the other side of Shinji, holding them both. “I be home right quick, all safe an’ sound, promise.” He really wasn’t doing anything dangerous this time, nothing that anyone should even know he was there for. He got to play ghost this time, silent and invisible, and it was a nice change and rather fun, too.

Only slightly reassured by the words, Shinji still clung, taking deep breaths and trying not to think of Hyun-ki and Rien struggling to get home from wherever the hell he had been. He hated thinking of them, alone and frightened and in danger. Neither of them belonged in that sort of place; they belonged here at home.

“I love you,” he whispered against Rien’s throat. “I love you so much, you and Kippei and Yuni.”

“Always,” Rien murmured back, kissing his forehead and hugging him close, closing his eyes and letting the feeling sweep over him, aching with it and wishing helplessly that he could give Shinji some kind of certainty, something truly reassuring.

His own worries weren’t for himself, but for how all of them and especially Shinji would get along without him, especially since Kippei would have school and might not be able to take off enough days to stay home with them the whole time. He wasn’t afraid that Shinji might hurt Yuni, as Shinji was so certain, but that Shinji might hurt himself in some way, and that was all too possible.

Kippei reached over to brush his hair back, stroking his temple and giving him a wry, affectionate look. “I’ll take care of them,” he noted softly, meaning Hyun-ki and Shinji, while Rien was gone. He wondered vaguely what kind of provision Rien’s own personal religion had for praying that your loved ones were safe and well, not that it would be useful to anyone else.

Shinji just felt guilty, that Rien was worried, and that Kippei needed to take care of him just as much as Hyun-ki. That he needed to be kept from hurting a wounded little girl who just needed to be loved. He held on too tightly, but couldn’t let go, needing the close contact with both of them, trying to sort out the rampant thoughts in his head. That in a way he had hurt Kippei just as badly, maybe even worse, than those people had hurt Yuni.

“I’ll be good, I swear.”

Kippei kissed the back of his neck, smiling a little. “I know you will, baby. I never worry about that.” And he didn’t, because no matter what happened he knew that Shinji always meant to be good, never meant for anyone to get hurt or be unhappy.

“You’ll help me take care of Yuni, and we’ll all be fine, all three of us,” he murmured, rubbing his cheek against Shinji’s hair.

Shinji sighed in relief to know Kippei trusted him, with himself and with Yuni and even with Kippei. He needed that level of equality; of knowing he was capable and trusted to do what needed to be done without freaking out about it.

“We’ll be fine,” he agreed softly, though he wasn’t convinced Rien would be. Rien needed protecting, and Shinji couldn’t do that when he was running off to be a damn spy all the time.

“You’ll wear one of those bullet proof vests things, right?”

Rien chuckled softly. “Jus’ for you, princess,” he agreed, kissing him warmly again, slow and lingering and savouring because kissing Shinji was always so incredibly sweet, and if he wasn’t going to have the chance to do that for days and days on end, well then he was stocking up now. Or something like that. Really it was just an excuse to kiss him over and over again for as long as he could get away with.

Shinji started laughing after about the tenth kiss, pushing playfully at Rien and trying to get away, backing off and hiding behind Kippei, then watching them kiss, because it was the sexiest thing he could imagine. He reached out to play with Rien’s curls, loving the gentle spring in them and the way they sprung away from his fingers when he released them, as if filled with the same energy Rien always had.

“So cute. Silly bunny rabbit.”

“First I’m a monkey an’ now I’m a rabbit,” Rien grumbled indistinctly from where his face was buried in Kippei’s shoulder. Kippei had big, strong shoulders, they were the best thing for holding onto and hiding in, or leaning on from behind as Shinji was doing. Rien loved the feeling of wrapping himself in Kippei’s strength as much as he loved the slim grace of Shinji’s slender frame. Both of them felt amazing and perfect in totally different ways. He’d never be able to live without either of them anymore.

Shinji just watched him, smiling because he knew what Rien was doing and why, sinking into the warm safety of Kippei. Shinji did it every day but it was cute seeing Rien do the same thing, and a relief to know he wasn’t the only one who relied on it. Kippei was integral to everything; he was what bound them all together and Shinji knew if he lost that, he’d lose everything.

“Definitely a rabbit. Yuni shoulda named her bunny after you.” It had been what he had assumed would happen, and he was still stunned she had named it after him. “But then, maybe you’re a bunny-monkey. They don’t sell those at the store.”

Rien shifted enough to give Shinji a look out of one eye, still feeling rather disgruntled. “Why can’t I be somethin’ cool?” he grumbled. Bunnies and monkeys so did not count.

Kippei chuckled softly, ruffling Rien’s curly hair and kissing his forehead briefly. “You’re cool enough already,” he promised. Spies didn’t really need extra coolness points, surely.

“If you were any cooler I’d have to die of embarrassment,” Shinji grumbled, already touchy about how useless he was by comparison. He was always aware, somewhere in the back of his mind, that Rien knew how to do all kinds of things, and he would never be able to match that. It was incredible, but it was more than a little scary too.

“Super bunny-monkey?”

Sighing, Rien burrowed in under them, hiding against Kippei and reaching around him to fasten a hand in Shinji’s shirt. “Somethin’ like that,” he muttered. He didn’t really care about being cool, so long as Shinji thought that he was. A bunny-monkey didn’t sound that cool, though.

Kippei was completely amused, well able to read Rien’s dissatisfaction with the nicknames and guess at the cause of it, even if he thought it was ridiculous it was still cute, that Rien wanted Shinji to think he was cool.

Shinji had no idea Rien wanted that, and only knew there was something off about Rien hiding under Kippei, sounding…not upset, but not happy either. He burrowed in under Kippei’s arm, squirming his way between them and prying Rien free so he could see his face, looking inquisitively at him, wanting to know.

“Ri? What is it?”

Rien sighed, unable to put it into words that didn’t sound even stupider. “S’nothin’,” he murmured, giving Shinji a wry smile. “Don’ worry bout it, princess.” He stroked Shinji’s hair and cheek adoringly, leaning up to kiss him gently.

Kippei snorted softly. “He thinks you picked uncool animals to compare him to and he’s afraid its because you don’t really think he’s cool,” he informed Shinji, ignoring Rien when he gave him a rather injured look and stuck his tongue out.

Shocked, all Shinji could do for a minute was stare, but then he grinned, because it was the sillest, cutest thing he’d ever heard. He reached up to stroke Rien’s cheek, marvelling that someone like Rien could even care what he thought like that. It was amazing and humbling at the same time.

“There isn’t an animal cool enough to describe how amazing I think you are,” he pointed out softly. “It doesn’t exist. If I stop to think about it…you seem impossible to me, but you’re here anyway.”

“Never going anywhere,” Rien agreed with a crooked smile, wrapping his hand warm around the back of Shinji’s neck and pulling his head down to rest their foreheads together.

“Love you so damn much,” he whispered. “I be back, sweetheart. I be safe. Always come back to you.” He never wanted to give Shinji a reason for more sadness, someone that had lost so much already couldn’t be asked to give any more. But all three of them, really, his family gave him a better reason than he had ever had for being careful, staying safe and making sure he came back in one piece.

He’d never had anyone to come back to before, but now it was more important even than the job itself. And that, right there, was the real indication that it was time to quit, he knew. He was definitely going to need to start moving toward that.

“I know. You’ll always come back.” As long as he was alive to do so, Rien would do anything to come home. It was another thing Shinji had to marvel at; that Rien cared more about coming home to them than anything else. It was one of the things that soothed the fears Shinji had enough to keep him from screaming down the house about it. He could feel it as the days between Rien leaving passed, in his head swelling and threatening to overwhelm him, but every time Rien smiled and said I love you Shinji was reminded that Rien was amazing and would come home, no matter what, and the pounding lessened.

“I adore you.”

“Likewise,” Rien assured him with a wide, brilliant smile, and Kippei reached down to bury his fingers in Rien’s curls, holding on and rubbing his temple affectionately with his thumb.

“Both of you are adorable,” he told them, smiling as the warmth washed through him, a feeling of peace in spite of the fact that Rien was leaving soon. Not tomorrow, but the next day, and it was not nearly far enough away.

Shinji stuck his tongue out, of the opinion he was definitely not adorable and certainly not like Rien, but it was nice that Kippei thought so. He shifted back out from under Kippei’s arm and curled up at his back, getting comfortable and letting himself calm down.

“So…Yuni doesn’t mind sleeping alone? I mean…I guess no one ever cuddled up with her.”

“I doubt it,” Rien admitted. “She don’t seem to be afraid of the dark, but… I doubt she say if she minded,” he noted sadly. She seemed to sleep well enough, but it was hard to say. “She do come in here if she have nightmares,” he pointed out, so at least she felt safe enough to come to them when she was really scared.

Shinji thought about that for a long time before he quickly slid out of bed and went down to Hyun-ki’s room, picking her up and taking her back into their bed, settling her down between Rien and Kippei and watching her stubbornly.

“Tell her. Tell her she’s allowed to sleep with us any time she wants.”

Rien sat up, blinking at him. He opened his mouth, closed it again, and scratched the back of his neck, looking wryly at the rather confused little girl in the middle of the bed, and then helplessly at Kippei.

“What if she wants to every night?” It wasn’t that he’d mind if she wanted to sleep with them, it was just… Shinji had only begun to be more open to sex in general and if they had Yuni sleeping in their bed all the time that was likely to disappear.

Kippei pulled her into his lap and stroked her hair, soothing her as she looked worriedly around at them, afraid something was wrong.

“You’re okay,” he murmured. “It’s okay.”

“Well tell her she is allowed to whenever she wants to then,” Shinji protested stubbornly.  He leaned down to kiss her cheek, petting her hair soothingly and smiling reassuringly at her.

“Shinji loves Yuni.”

Rien sighed, rubbing his forehead, not sure what to say. He reached out to take her hands, squeezing them comfortingly and softly explaining to her that Shinji was worried about her being afraid when she slept alone, asking if she was scared in the dark, letting her know that it was okay when she came in to wake them up, that she couldn’t sleep with them all the time but sometimes, if she needed to, it was okay.

He looked worriedly at Shinji then, to see if it was okay, what he’d said, and then remembered he had to translate it, smiling sheepishly at him.

Shinji rolled his eyes but smiled, nodding because that was okay. He didn’t have a problem with her sleeping with them all the time, but if they wanted alone time it was better that they didn’t have to explain she couldn’t. He reached out and picked her up, cuddling her close and kissing her cheek again.

“Okay Yuni?”

She nodded, curling up against his shoulder and yawning, blinking sleepily at them all and sucking her thumb. It was all okay, as long as they still loved her. It was more than she’d ever had before.