Clean and dry, Shinji got himself dressed, then Hyun-ki, putting her in warm clothes and a pink jumper with matching pink ribbons, amused as ever at how she swatted at them in the mirror with a happy smile. In the kitchen he made hot chocolate and carried it out to the lounge to put on the coffee table before curling up at one end of the couch again and staring at Toshio.

“How’d you get out of the shower so fast?” He’d clearly left Enishi in there alone.

Toshio blinked at him. “Fast?” he asked a little bemusedly.  He’d lingered a bit longer than he often did, longer than was necessary merely for soaping and scrubbing. Enishi had been in an odd mood, and Toshio had humored him, letting him do the washing, even though it seemed to take three or four times as long when Enishi did it.

“I didn’t think it was fast,” he noted wryly, shrugging as he took a drink of tea.

Blinking, Shinji tried to remember if he’d lingered, but he’d scurried off as soon as Rien and Kippei had climbed in naked together, under the pretense of dressing Hyun-ki. He supposed he might have lingered over that job, and her hair did take a while to get right, but still…

“Did you wear that funny suit in the shower?”

“Hm?” Toshio put his tea down and just stared at him for minute, completely puzzled at first as to what he was talking about, and then as to why he was asking. “No….” he said finally, shaking his head and giving Shinji a curious look. “I told you I don’t.” He only wore it for swimming, it was just more comfortable that way.

“Just asking,” Shinji assured him at the odd look, a blush creeping over his own cheeks. He wasn’t even sure why he was so curious about Toshio. Maybe because the man seemed so weird it made even Shinji feel normal? He smiled faintly, picking up a mug of hot chocolate and sipping at it with a soft sigh, relaxing.

“How come you wear it?”

Toshio shrugged, looking down into his mug and grimacing a little. If it were anyone else, he would stonewall them to the grave, but it was Shinji, and… maybe Shinji needed to know. But it wasn’t that easy to explain, or even to talk about, even so.

“I get cold,” he said finally, shrugging again. At the moment he was wearing three layers, the top one being a thick, heavy sweater, and his hair was even longer and shaggier than usual, as he didn’t cut it or trim it at all during the winter.

“Cold?” Shinji blinked, looking at him in confusion, but then thinking of the times he got really upset over how he thought he looked and went racing for more clothes. Maybe it was like that, or maybe it was something else, but Shinji thought he might understand just a little.

“Do you still like ice cream when you get cold? I think I like it even more then.”

“Mmm… I guess,” Toshio muttered, thinking about it. He wasn’t a big fan of ice cream in general, but he didn’t think being cold made that much difference. “I like it best when Enishi feeds it to me,” he confessed, leaning over and lowering his voice.

He straightened up quickly and pretended he wasn’t smiling when Enishi came in, sipping his tea and looking up sleepily as Enishi came over to say hi to Shinji and use the excuse to stand there for a minute playing with Toshio’s hair, not that he minded really. It was kind of… cute.

Shinji hid his own grin behind his mug but his eyes were laughing because that was just cute. Yoshi was even sillier than he was, with even more quirks and it just felt good to know he wasn’t the weirdest person in the world. He looked over his shoulder though, wondering what was keeping Rien and Kippei and hoping that if they were going to be a while that Rien at least stayed quiet, because that would just be too embarrassing. But Enishi reminded Shinji of Kippei in a good way and it made Shinji feel better, to see them together, even if something inside himself felt a little broken. He looked up at the huge man seriously, only hesitating for a moment.

“If Yoshi was a vegetable, and you fell in love with someone else, would you regret not letting go of Yoshi sooner?”

Enishi wasn’t sure what that question even meant, and he looked down at Toshio for help. Toshio was still looking at his tea and not helping, so Enishi looked back at Shinji with a puzzled expression.

“I… can’t rightly answer that,” he pointed out, scrubbing a hand through his damp hair with a baffled look. “I never been in love with anyone else, and I can’t imagine it.” He bit his lip for a minute, looking down at Toshio’s bent head and sighed heavily. He wasn’t entirely sure who he ought to be addressing, whether Tosh was just as interested in the answer as Shinji, or if he was being inscrutable – more so than usual, that was – for some other reason.

“I would never regret anything about you,” he said gravely at last, “except letting go.”

Rien poked his head in to say hello on his way to the kitchen, but neither Toshio or Enishi appeared to hear him. Toshio looked up after a minute with a faint smile and shook his head, settling back into his cushions and the blanket he was wrapped in.

Enishi sighed and gave up, squeezing his shoulder and disappearing after Rien into the kitchen. It was definitely time for food, and it was totally not fair of Toshio to be giving him a headache on an empty stomach.

Shinji watched and waited and used the time to think about it, not that he needed to. Kippei would have said the same thing, before the accident, but he’d still said otherwise afterward. But Toshio was as impossible to read as ever and it made Shinji uneasy, sinking deeper into his own small depression, knowing Kippei regretted holding on to his memory for as long as he did. He felt guilty for being hurt over it, but it wasn’t that Kippei had moved on. Shinji was so ridiculously happy that Kippei had moved on, had found someone else to love and be loved by and have a life with. It was that he regretted clinging to their memories; to the only memories Shinji had. It was the regret that hurt, much more than Shinji had ever thought it could. It was like losing everything from before, and having to make do with what was left.

“Why does alien Shinji steal everything?” Even Kippei’s love.

Toshio sighed, rubbing his face with his hands and then cupping them back around his cup, looking pensive. “I don’t know what to tell you about that,” he said softly, feeling more troubled than he wanted to admit. They were too much alike, perhaps, but Shinji bringing that up with Enishi hit oddly close to home. Toshio knew he wasn’t any sort of boyfriend for anyone, not any sort of lover; the thought made him snort softly. He had always been sure that eventually Enishi would get tired of whatever he was playing at with him, and move on. He was still waiting, and he didn’t know how to stop.

“You’re right I guess,” he muttered, but he was interrupted by Kippei coming in with Hyun-ki.

“Shinji’s right here, see?” Kippei told her, carrying her over and setting her down in Shinji’s lap.

Startled at anyone suggesting he was actually right about something, Shinji could only sit in a quiet, stunned stupor as Hyun-ki was put in his lap. His arms wrapped around her instinctively now and cuddled her close, kisses falling on her forehead but he was pensive as he looked up at Kippei, aching with how much he loved the man, but equally devastated.

“What’s wrong, Yuni?” he asked, mostly to distract himself. “I’m right here, pretty girl, did you miss me?” Did she miss him when he wasn’t there? How long would she miss him if he went away? A day? A week, maybe a month? It hadn’t taken her that long to forget her real father. The thought was sobering.

Kippei sat on the arm of the couch behind Shinji, stroking his hair and smiling a little at the way the little girl was snuggled into his arms.

“Yeah, we did,” he agreed. He’d been trying to keep Yuni busy for a little, giving Toshio and Shinji time to talk, hoping that would help with… something, but she’d kept turning at every sound, looking hopefully toward the door, and she hadn’t had to say anything for Kippei to know she was looking for Shinji. And since he wanted to see Shinji himself, it was hard to resist.

“We missed you.”

Barely a flicker of hurt flashed across Shinji’ face before he looked up, smiling and laughing a little, reaching up to cup Kippei’s face and stroke his cheek with his thumb. He loved Kippei, knew he couldn’t live without him and maybe that was ridiculous and extreme but it was the truth. Kippei was the only thing that had ever maintained his interest, the only thing he’d ever wanted for himself and the only thing he’d dared get close enough to that he could be seriously hurt. And he had been, though not in the way he had expected, but he’d lost Kippei in the end anyway. And alien Shinji got to have him now and that wasn’t fair at all.

“I miss you too,” he whispered, meaning just now and every time Kippei was out of the room, but also meaning so much more. He missed the Kippei that had lived and breathed just for him.

Kippei sighed, hearing in Shinji’s voice that something was still bothering him, but not entirely sure what it was. If he knew a way to always be there so Shinji never had to miss him again, he would do it. He didn’t know how else to tell him that, or what else to do that would be what Shinji needed.

“Here,” he murmured, lifting Shinji and Hyun-ki both and sliding into the seat, resettling them with Shinji on his lap and her in Shinji’s, where he could cuddle them both.

Toshio watched them silently, laying back with his eyes half closed, watching them with a slightly crooked smile. They were really too much alike, him and Shinji. It was almost interesting, at that.

The warmth and familiar scent made Shinji relax again, melting into Kippei and he carefully shared his hot chocolate with Hyun-ki, smiling at the happy little noises she made as she drank it, helping her hold the cup because he didn’t fancy her spilling it on them all. But mostly he just rested his head on Kippei’s shoulder and soaked up the sense of peace that washed through him just to be that close and loved. He could never deny he was loved, he was just waiting for them to change their minds.

“Mmm…we’re supposed to be getting ready to go out.” But he felt lazy after the long soak in the hot tub. “Is Rien making dinner? And what are we gonna do with Hyun-ki? I’d ask Ashi but I bet she’s at the club tonight too.”

“Rien is making dinner,” Enishi agreed as he came back in, having been kicked out with only a cup of coffee to show for it. “Wish he’d hurry up about it,” he sighed, coming over and surveying the full couch for a minute, shaking his head. Getting Toshio to move once he’d entrenched himself somewhere was worse than pulling teeth, so he probably wouldn’t get away with doing what Kippei had done, and there just wasn’t enough room left for a man his size to squeeze in the middle.

“I can call An,” Kippei told Shinji, relaxing himself the more that Shinji melted against him and stroking his hair, hoping that Shinji could feel somehow just how much he was loved. “Or Rien’s mum,” he added absently. It wasn’t like there was any shortage of womenfolk in the people they knew.

“Mmm I think Kimi,” Shinji decided softly. “Yuni doesn’t really know An, it would be mean to leave her alone with her. What do you think, Yuni? You want to spend the night with nana Kimi?” He had no idea what the little girl wanted, other than to be with him which was fine when he wasn’t going to a damn club and he wanted to see Akira; needed that old touchstone with his life before the crash.

“I think definitely Kimi.”

“She’s a long way away though,” Kippei remembered, checking the time. “She’d have to come pick her up, and even then, it’ll be pretty late. She’ll be okay with An, don’t you think?” He wished he knew enough Korean to explain it to Hyun-ki and make sure she really understood.

Enishi got tired of standing and carefully lowered himself to the floor, sitting with his back against the couch and laying his head back against Toshio’s hip. Toshio blinked down at him for a second as if surprised to see him there, then shifted a little to put Enishi’s head in his lap, and began to slowly card his fingers through his hair. Enishi made a contented rumble in the back of his throat as his eyes slid closed.

“Mmm I guess,” Shinji agreed reluctantly, but he was smiling softly at Enishi and Yoshi because they looked cute and in love and it warmed Shinji somehow to see them together. “Especially if we put her to bed before we go, I guess that would work.” He hated the idea of Hyun-ki crying the whole time wanting them back, thinking they had left her. “Rien’ll have to explain it to her.”

“Yeah,” Kippei agreed, knowing that Rien wouldn’t have thought about it at all, probably didn’t see any reason why they couldn’t take her with them.

Toshio opened his mouth to say that he didn’t want to go anyway, and he wouldn’t mind staying home with her at all, but the sight of Enishi’s happy face in his lap made him hesitate, and he closed it again resignedly without saying anything.  Really he could not understand why people did that for fun, though!

The look on Toshio’s face was priceless and made Shinji snicker. He hadn’t understood at first, but when he got to dance with Kippei or Rien, or when he could sit with Akira in the booth…those were moments he got to keep and he liked them. They felt free and uninhibited somehow, though he thought that might be because he often drank when they went to see Akira, but whatever.

“I’ll go call An and get Rien to explain,” he said softly, hoisting Hyun-ki onto his hip and carrying her out to see Rien, plonking her on the chair in front of him and pulling his phone from his pocket to call, feeling nervous because he hardly ever spoke to An any more.

Rien came over to them curiously, stroking Yuni’s hair and eyeing Shinji’s phone. “Who you callin’?” he asked, kissing them both on the forehead and picking Yuni up when she reached for a hug, cuddling her and smiling at Shinji.

Yuni twined her arms around Rien’s neck, nuzzling against him and watching Shinji a bit worriedly. She didn’t like it when he was nervous, it made her uneasy.

Sighing heavily, Shinji passed Hyun-ki over to Rien and waited for the phone to start ringing.

“Calling Annie…we need a babysitter, we can’t take Yuni to the club, but she doesn’t know Annie. I don’t want her being scared all night, but maybe if we put her to bed before we go?” And hopefully she wouldn’t wake up. One could hope, anyway. He sighed again when the phone picked up.

“Hey Annie, it’s Shinji.”

“Hey cutie!” she answered cheerfully. “How you doin’? Everybody alright?” She couldn’t really think of any other reason Shinji would be calling her, but you never knew. The last time it had been because Kippei was in a catatonic state over accidentally putting Shinji back in the hospital. She really hoped it wasn’t that bad this time.

“Aa-ni?” Yuni thought it sounded almost like her name, and she giggled softly, but looked questioningly at Shinji. Rien sighed and took her over to sit on the counter while he finished making dinner, and softly explained to her that Kippei’s sister was going to come and visit, stay with her while they went out. He promised her they would be back.

Shinji watched them nervously but focussed on the phone because An sounded concerned and he hadn’t meant to frighten her.

“Hey, sorry to call so late, and it’s Christmas eve and all…” He hadn’t thought of that and felt bad about asking. “We um…we sort of need a babysitter, but if you’ve got plans or something we can call Rien’s mum, it’s just that you’re closer is all, and you’re coming over for lunch tomorrow anyways so really you could just stay the night if you wanted…that is, if you don’t have plans already.” He felt like an asshole asking and wished he’d remembered sooner that it was Christmas Eve.

Annie tilted her head, smiling a little. It was so cute of him to be asking, and she could hear how guilty he was feeling about it. She did have plans, sort of, but… they could be adjusted.

“Well, sure, I can do that,” she agreed, feeling warm inside that they’d thought to ask, and not minding that she would need to change her plans. She hadn’t gotten to meet her new little sister yet, or niece rather she supposed it would be. At any rate, she was looking forward to it.

“Give me half an hour,” she told him, “I can be there then. Will that be okay?”

“That…that’s great!” Shinji exclaimed excitedly, relief heavy in his voice. “Thanks so much Annie! If you had a date or something, you can bring them over, we don’t mind! And there’s heaps of food in the fridge you can eat for dinner, and ice cream in the freezer, and Yuni’s real nice, I swear, doesn’t misbehave at all!” At least he hoped she wouldn’t. Did crying count as misbehaving? Shinji felt stressed and nervous and hurriedly hung up the phone, looking at Hyun-ki and Rien, feeling at a loss.

“She said okay?”

Rien looked from their little girl to Shinji and back again a little helplessly. “She… didn’t say no,” he sighed, roughing up his own hair and wanting to close his eyes rather than meet hers or Shinji’s again. She had only looked at him with big, round eyes that grew a little more scared the longer he talked, and she’d only asked one question. He was betting that she was going to be fine once she actually met Annie for herself, but until then, it hurt to see her just silently accepting something she was obviously afraid of just because she had clearly learned better than to protest any arrangements that were being made by adults.

Shinji couldn’t see the resigned look on her face and just stand there, sweeping in and scooping her up, raining kisses all over her sad looking face and hugging her close.

“Shhh, it’s okay, Shinji loves Yuni, Yuni will never be alone again, I promise, it’s okay.” He held her as close as he could without hurting her, trying not to smother but she just pressed all his buttons and he wanted to make it better. Maybe they shouldn’t go, it wasn’t like Toshio really wanted to, but Shinji wanted him to and he wanted to see Akira and spy on him with Ashi, but those seemed like such selfish things.

Rien came over to hug them both, rocking them back and forth and kissing the top of their heads. “It’ll be okay,” he assured them. “Give it a bit,” he suggested to Shinji. “Y’know what Annie’s like, all kids love her. Yuni’ll warm right up to her, you see.”

“I know,” Shinji agreed softly. “I know that, but…she looks so worried about it and I don’t want her to be scared or anything.” He sighed and smiled at her a little disarmingly, never sure what to do with her. She was damn cute and silly and when she was happy it made him feel like superman. “You’re so cute, Yuni-girl.” He smiled and carried her back out to the lounge, taking in the relaxed bodies and laughing softly.

“We all for eating out here then?”

“Sure,” Kippei answered, holding out his arms to wave Shinji back to his lap, where he belonged. Kippei never quite felt that everything was right with the world when Shinji wasn’t in his arms.

Toshio studied them curiously, wondering what it would be like to suddenly have a child depending on you, another small person to care about who would need so much more than you did, than any adult did. He couldn’t really imagine it, and he couldn’t blame Shinji for freaking out a bit when Rien had brought her home.

Shinji was still in a sort of honeymoon phase when it came to Hyun-ki, waiting for the day she said or did something to set him off and he ended up yelling at her and making her hate him, knowing it would happen one day but clinging to the time he got to have beforehand. He went to Kippei and couldn’t help the proud little smile that altered his expression when Hyun-ki didn’t squirm or whimper or try to get away from Kippei. She really was starting to settle, but he knew that trust didn’t extend far.

“Annie’s gonna come and babysit…I think she had plans,” he admitted guiltily.

Kippei raised his eyebrows, then frowned a little. “Good,” he muttered, feeling pleased that it wasn’t too serious if she was willing to break a date to come babysit. He still hadn’t met the guy, but he was sure that no guy was good enough for his baby sister.

He kissed Shinji’s hair and then grinned at Yuni in Shinji’s lap, enjoying the fact that she no longer seemed to be afraid of him.

“Hey pretty girl,” he said softly, stroking her cheek with one finger. She smiled shyly and then ducked her head, cuddling against Shinji.

Shinji chuckled softly but relaxed back against Kippei, feeling tired but not sleep deprived, just needing food to generate some more energy and he knew the smell was getting to him if it was making him lethargic. He shifted in closer against Kippei’s side and let his eyes close, just for a minute, feeling guilty for not dreaming up an elaborate conversation to entertain their guests but also knowing Toshio would understand.

He woke to Rien stepping into the room with food, sitting up and catching Yuni, putting her down and letting her run over to see what Rien had brought out, smiling up at him enthusiastically.

“It smells great.”

Toshio not only understood, he was dozing off himself by the time Rien got there, and woke up blinking owlishly at him, a bit confused at first until he remembered they were eating here, apparently. Enishi was already sitting up, which was what had woken him, and reached up with a big paw to mess up his hair. Toshio pushed his hand away absently, straightening his hair and giving Rien a sleepy smile, nodding his agreement with Shinji. It did smell good.

Rien chuckled at all of them, highly amused to find damn near everyone sleeping on the couch when he came in, although Kippei had still had his eyes open and Enishi sat up quickly enough that Rien didn’t think he’d been dozing, but Toshio and Shinji were amusingly alike sometimes, and he was pretty sure Yuni had been half asleep where she’d been curled in Shinji’s lap, too.

“Want I should come back later with this?” he asked, pretending to gather the tray back up and leave.

“No no no no!” Shinji exclaimed immediately, crawling out of Kippei’s lap and over to where Hyun-ki was reaching for the tray, looking worried that Rien was taking the yummies away. He grabbed hold and sternly put it back down, grinning at the array of finger food; dim sums and spring rolls and pasties and rice cakes, little dips and sauces and it was all steaming and delicious smelling. Shinji picked up a samosa and wrapped it in a serviette before dipping it into one of the mild sauces and handing it to Hyun-ki.

“Careful, it’s hot. Owie.” He couldn’t not grin, recalling the cookies and how seriously Hyun-ki had warned him about the Owie.

She nodded solemnly as she took it, eyeing it warily as if it might bite, blowing gently on it as if that might help. Kippei chuckled and crawled over to sit behind her, grabbing one of his own and showing her the best way to cool it off quickly.

Rien just laughed at them, settling crosslegged on the floor and waving at Toshio and Enishi to help themselves as he picked up a spring roll for himself, dabbing it in sauce and sighing appreciatively as he bit in. Hell yeah it was about time for food.

Shinji made sure Hyun-ki was okay, which she was, watching Kippei with wide eyes and mimicking his movements, and then went about finding himself something to eat, only every time he reached for something he found he couldn’t pick it up and the longer the feeling lingered the worse he felt, stressed and frustrated and hungry but not hungry enough. He kept thinking of Toshio teasing that he was looking chubby, and not fitting into his jeans and on one hand he felt like eating until he was the size of a blimp because maybe that would kill alien Shinji, but on the other hand he was terrified of turning into something other than alien Shinji, in case Kippei and Rien didn’t like it. In the end he sat back on the floor and stared at the plate of food in exasperation, not interested in something that was apparently such hard work.

Rien noticed long before Shinji gave up on it, and when he did, Rien frowned a little at his own plate as he took another bite, considering. After a minute he sighed and shifted, scooting around behind Shinji and pulling Shinji into his lap.

“You goin’ clubbin, Shin, y’gotta eat,” he noted softly, smiling a little as he picked something off Shinji’s plate and held it up to feed it to him.

Enishi already knew that was about the only way to get Toshio to actually eat as much as he should, and he was matter of factly sharing everything he ate, making Toshio take a bite for every two of his, back and forth, and Toshio as usual was too lazy to argue about it, merely leaning against his shoulder and wrinkling his nose a little, chewing slowly but otherwise cooperating placidly enough. Neither of them were paying any attention to Rien and Shinji, and Kippei was busy keeping an eye on Yuni.

Shinji stared at the spring roll in Rien’s fingers and wanted to refuse, but that could be just as bad, refusing what Rien wanted and he just sighed and gave in, taking a bite and chewing thoughtfully, absently tugging on the hem of his shirt.

“Am I really getting chubby?” He looked firmly at Rien, trying to convey that it was a serious question because Rien had sworn to never lie.

Rien gave him a startled look, and then a tiny bit amused. “Shinji,” he began, and then gave up, just resting his forehead against Shinji’s for a minute, smiling into his eyes and feeling flooded with love for him. “No,” he said softly. “No you ain’t, baby, you still a little bird,” he noted, lifting Shinji’s arm to show him how easily Rien’s finger and thumb could circle his wrist. He kissed him gently then, both adoring and reassuring, and brushed his hair back tenderly before feeding him another bite.

“Would it be so bad if you was?” he asked softly after a minute, touching Shinji’s cheek with a faint wry smile.

Shinji was quiet, considering it, but really they were the only ones who knew the answer to that and in the end he shrugged, nibbling on a rice cake.

“I like how I am now. It feels good.” Not too heavy, not too light. He felt like the cereal commercial and had to laugh softly at himself. “But it’s not what I was like before, and it’s not what I was like when you first saw me, it’s something else. What if you and Kippei don’t like it?”

Rien grinned a little sadly at him, taking a bite of dim sum before he answered. “Baby, you’d gotta be seriously overweight afore I ain’t like it, an’ even then, if you liked y’self that way, I ain’t gotta problem.” He tried to imagine Shinji being overweight, and failed, but he had the sneaking suspicion that no matter what Shinji looked like, ever, Rien would still find him sexy.

He knew instinctively that it was the same for Kippei, and he realised after a moment that it was because it wasn’t just the outside of Shinji they were attracted to. He was sexy inside as well, issues and all, and whether he worked through them or not, that wasn’t likely to change. He paused for a minute, eating several more bites while he considered how to express that to Shinji.

“Y’know it ain’t just the way you look that’s sexy, Shin,” he said finally, lowering his voice a little just in case someone started paying attention; he didn’t want Shinji to be too embarrassed to actually keep listening. “I love the way you look, love your body, want you bad when I look at you, watch you, but… ” He frowned a little, having trouble putting it into words.

“Really the sexiest part is that it’s you inside. I know you feel like… like it ain’t you no more, an’ alien Shinji’s gonna hurt us or somethin’, but no matter which, it’s sexy. The ‘old’ you an’ the ‘alien’ you both, whatever, no matter what or who y’end up bein’ when you finally decide that you recovered enough t’ put the accident behind ya, it’s gonna be what I want, what Kippei wants, no matter what y’look like or how much you change. As long as you like you, that’s what matters. We want you to get better an’ start to like y’self again, an’ in the meantime, we still want you – the you inside that still feels like you, an’ the you that doesn’t. We love all of you, even the parts you don’t want, coz at this moment in time, ‘s what makes it you. An’ when that changes, it’s still gonna be you, and that is what we want, Shinji – just you. Inside an’ outside, no matter what.”

Blinking, Shinji sat dumbfounded for a long time, not even aware he was sucking on a spring roll. It was crazy, but it also made sense. For the first time ever, he understood and thought it was true. It was the inside that kept him rooted to the floor, refusing to give Rien and Kippei up. Kippei had changed; had grown older in a heartbeat for Shinji but he hadn’t even noticed, not really, because the person inside had been Kippei. Changed, yes, just like the outside, but still Kippei. There was something in him that made Shinji want nothing else from the world, just him. And he’d found that something in Rien too.

“I like it now,” he noted softly, and knew in some way that this was him now; that it was the right weight and the one his body would naturally plateau to. This was the right one; the comfortable one, even if it was chubby. “I love you.”

Rien grinned, wide and slow and warm, cupping Shinji’s face in his hands and kissing his nose. “I’m glad,” he said. “I like it too, an’ I love you so damn much.” He tucked his arm around Shinji’s waist and just held him close, going back comfortably to eating and feeding Shinji because it was fun, feeling lighter and more relaxed than he had in days.

“You should write stuff down,” Shinji pointed out softly. “The truth according to Takayama Rien,” he laughed softly. “I’d like to read that. A whole book of it, and it wouldn’t matter if it was really true or not because it’s the truth according to you and that’s all that would matter.” It would be like a bible, to Shinji and just the idea of it made him smile. He looked over at Enishi and Toshio, amused at the way they were eating, almost like it was second nature.

“How long have you been together?”

Toshio looked at him from half-lidded eyes, wondering what had prompted the question, and also having to think about it. He frowned faintly, adding it up and then blinking, a bit startled. Had it really been that long? He looked down at his tea again, still frowning as he thought it over, and forgot to answer.

“Ten years,” Enishi answered beside him, and Toshio stiffened in a kind of shock. Enishi always let him do the talking, didn’t seem to bother himself about other people’s questions or making conversation unless Toshio wasn’t there, and even then, according to himself and others, he wasn’t good at it. Having him randomly speak up because Toshio had taken his time about answering was…weird, and he realised belatedly that Enishi hadn’t had to think about it. He wanted to look up, to see his face, but even if it was only friends they were in front of, he couldn’t do it. He forced himself to relax again, leaning against Enishi’s shoulder as if nothing had happened, taking a long sip of tea to cover his confusion.

Kippei had looked up when Shinji asked the question, more because it was safe to look like he was paying attention again than because he’d been curious about the answer, but it made his eyes widen and he stared for a minute.

“Ten years?” he asked finally. That was a damn long time.

Not even Shinji had expected that answer and he stared at Toshio in shock, trying to figure it out but Toshio really didn’t seem that old at all, only a bit younger than Rien maybe, a little older than Kippei and really, that meant they’d been together since…

“Were you high school sweethearts or something? Isn’t that sort of weird? Were you one of those kids that always said they only dated guys in college or something because high school boys were too immature? I saw that in a movie once.”

Enishi looked down at his lover, and something sad and bleak crossed his face for a minute. “No,” he answered softly. “That wasn’t how we met.”

Toshio was huddled in on himself, buried in the blanket he’d wrapped around himself, and pressing so tight to Enishi’s side he felt like he was leaving bruises, hands clenched around the mug that he was still staring into.

“Can we talk about this later?” he requested softly, feeling white and blank and knowing they should talk about it, that it wasn’t fair to expect them to share without giving them something in return, but he really didn’t want to think about it when they were expected to be going out. Enishi’s large, strong arm wrapped protectively around his shoulders, pulling him closer to kiss his temple, and Toshio let out a slow, shaky breath, forcing himself to relax again.

He looked over at Shinji with a tight, careful smile. “As I was saying earlier,” he noted softly. “You were right. I’m too messed up to be much good to anybody else.” Enishi growled ominously in the back of his throat, not liking hearing him put himself down, but  – Toshio thought fortunately – at that moment the bell rang, and the tableau broke apart as Kippei got up and swept Yuni up to carry her with him as he went to let his sister in.

Shinji was still confused and wanted answers, but he knew the look on Toshio’s face too well to ever push for more. Toshio would tell him when it was right, and not before. He smiled and forced himself to drop the subject, turning to grin as An appeared in the doorway.

“Heya stranger, long time no see, who’s the boy I’ve been hearing all this growling about, hmm?”

Ishan stuck his head around the door and waved nervously, pushing his glasses up his nose and letting his slightly too long hair fall across his face a little. He was startled. An had warned him, told him her brother was married to two men and they had a daughter, but being told was different to seeing, and there were five men, not three and he couldn’t tell which one was which.

An waved at Shinji and grinned impishly, stretching up to kiss her brother on the cheek before hugging him warmly, Hyun-ki and all.

“Hi there, cuteness!” she greeted the little girl, beaming a friendly smile at her and reaching out to brush back her hair. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

Yuni regarded her uneasily for a minute, and looked questioningly up at Kippei. “Kii,” she whispered. “Sister?” Rien had taught her the word, explaining what it meant, asking her if she’d ever had any brothers or sisters, but she had shaken her head. “Kii-sister? Love Kii?”

“Yeah, baby,” Kippei assured her, kissing her cheek and tugging An closer, wrapping an arm around her shoulders to introduce her. “Annie is my sister, and Shinji-sister too. Love Kii and Shinji and Rien,” he explained, as Rien had told them his theory about linking people for her.

Hyun-ki looked back at An with wide, sober eyes, visibly relaxing but still uncertain. “Ah-nee?” she tried, and An chuckled softly, figuring it was inevitable that Shinji’s nickname for her got passed on to the baby.

“That’s right, sweetheart,” she agreed, kissing the little girl’s cheek too, and then moving into the room to say hello to everyone else. She reached behind her for Ishan’s hand, glancing back at him with an encouraging smile as she tugged him in to stand beside her.

“Everybody, this is Ishan,” she introduced him, and pointed the others out. “My brother here is Kippei, and those two that look like a pretzel,” – she winked at Shinji – “are Rien and Shinji, my brothers in law…” Her forehead wrinkled briefly in confusion over the plural of that, and she muttered under her breath, trying it the other way. “Brother in laws? Brothers,” she finished with a shrug, grinning at them again.

“And I dunno who the other two are,” she added, looking at Toshio and Enishi with frank curiosity.

“That’s Enishi and his pretzel is Yoshi,” Shinji noted immediately, but his eyes were wide and he was barely refraining himself from erupting into a fountain of questions because holy crap, An really did have a boyfriend! A rather cute, geeky looking boyfriend with dark tanned skin and big chocolate eyes and he was tall and looked…hot. Shinji shared a smirk with her but didn’t bother getting up, curling in closer against Rien.

Ishan just stared at them all for a long minute before he remembered his manners and bowed nervously.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you all. Thank you for allowing me into your house.”

“Allowing you? Why, you thinking of stealing something?” Shinji stared at the guy like he was completely nuts, but there was laughter in his eyes.

“No! I would never!” Ishan nervously rubbed his palms on his thighs and shifted from one foot to the other, looking to An for help, not sure what to do or so. He appeared to be in a gay parlour, the only straight man, and worse if he hadn’t heard Shinji’s voice he would have sworn that was a girl! And what were a bunch of young gay men doing with a three year old kid? How’d they even get one? It was all totally bizarre, and she’d warned him it might be but still!

An rolled her eyes at Shinji, not entirely amused by the teasing, but she knew it was meant in good humor and she just leaned against Ishan reassuringly, slipping an arm around his waist. As the couch was obviously full, she dragged him to an armchair and pushed him down into it, perching in his lap and holding out her arms for Hyun-ki as Kippei followed them into the room.

“Here pretty girl, let Annie hold you for a bit, hm?” she asked, giving the little girl a bright eyed smile, and looking questioningly at Kippei. “She still eating?”

Kippei shook his head as he handed her over, lingering for a moment beside her and stroking her hair, making sure she was alright with sitting with An for a bit while he went to finish his own dinner.

“Nah, she was done,” he assured her as he settled back onto the floor beside Shinji and Rien, shifting until he was close enough to almost lean against him, and feel them warm beside him.

Shinji shifted to lean against Kippei’s shoulder, resting there as he watched Hyun-ki, trying to smile reassurringly when she looked over at him nervously. She was so cute, but she should like An.

Ishan looked at all three of them in fascination because while they were clearly gay, they weren’t obviously so, just like three guys living together and clearly in a relationship. But it was still odd, how flawlessly An had described them, explained their personalities as much as anything. And their kid was cute as hell. He smiled and poked her belly, grinning at her.

“Well aren’t you just going to be a heartbreaker when you grow up.”

Yuni shrank back against An at that, not understanding any of the words, and studied him with her thumb in her mouth for a minute. Then she suddenly grinned shyly at him, reaching up to point at his glasses, chattering softly in Korean. They were pretty and shiny and interesting, and they made him remind her of a cousin she’d had, one of the few who’d always had time for her when she saw him. This was one new person she wasn’t afraid of.

Rien looked up with interest, watching her bemusedly and wondering if Ishan knew any Korean – he seemed like a pretty smart guy, he just might. It would no doubt make things easier on him and An while they were staying with her if he did.

Ishan actually knew a decent amount of Korean. He’d originally gone to do a gap year teaching English in South Korea, but had moved over to Japan to attend University as an exchange student, though he still went back to Seoul to teach in the summer holidays. He was by no means fluent, but he knew enough to have a passable conversation, especially with a three year old. He grinned at her and handed over his glasses, telling her to be careful because she was a jelly blob when he didn’t have them and couldn’t see her properly. Then he told her how pretty and shiny she looked in them, just in case one day she had to wear them and was scared she might not look as cutely perfect as she did now.

Shinji gaped at him, looking from Hyun-ki to Ishan with a hint of jealousy that someone could actually speak to Hyun-ki and have her understand properly. But he also thought it might be a good thing, even if it made him a little green. At least she wouldn’t be a howling, crying wreck by the time they got home.

Hyun-ki took the glasses gingerly, not sure she was supposed to have them and a little bit awed that he had just handed them to her like that.  She had a little trouble getting them onto to her face properly, and once she did, she was disappointed that the world mostly looked weird and skewed and didn’t make sense.

She pulled them off again, staring at them in concern and then held them out to Ishan again, wondering how he could see in them.

[It's all messed up!] she told him worriedly. [Can't see, it's bad!]

Ishan laughed and quickly explained that he was opposite; that he couldn’t see without them but he could see normally with them on, and thanking her for taking such good care of them.

Shinji was still frowning. Maybe even glaring just a little, but he didn’t like that Hyun-ki apparently got along just fine with the guy when she’d fought against liking Kippei for so long. It just wasn’t right, but he sighed and forced himself to be polite because the guy was going to cop enough crap from Kippei, just for dating An.

“Have some food! There’s plenty left…I gotta get dressed,” he grinned, jumping up and hurrying off into the bedroom. He’d scrounged earlier and found the strangest things, but he was in love with his outfit; all sleek, slinky black. Tight pants with a faint shimmer in the material, almost wet looking, with a slight flare at the bottom to cover his shiny black boots with their slow, gentle sloping platform.

Then he’d managed to find an equally skin fitting black shirt with stripes of silver through the threading that he could only guess had once been Ashi’s. He then had a light weight, see through jacket but it barely reached his waist and didn’t have full sleeves, so he pulled on a pair of tight fitting black satin gloves to complete the wall of black shades.

He let his hair loose and simply lined his eyes with black, settling his tiara among the long black lines before looking at himself in the mirror and grinning because okay…even he thought the person looking back at him looked pretty freaking awesome. He snuck a peek around the door and found Kippei and Rien getting changed and tugged nervously at his shirt one last time before stepping out and waiting for them to look up, one hand on a bony hip, looking a little impatient.

Rien looked up first and then stopped and simply stared, jaw hanging open a little, not quite drooling. “Kippei?” he asked softly. “Can we stay home?”

“No sex,” Kippei reminded him, slightly amused, but after glancing at Shinji he could see why Rien was asking. Damn, he looked good enough to eat.

Rien sighed and slowly finished dressing himself, pulling on high heeled, knee high boots over his tight pants, the gold shirt he’d worn to their wedding draped over it, unbuttoned.

Kippei himself was wearing what Rien had picked out for him – a tight, black mesh shirt with a deep v-neck and leather pants that made him look doubtful, but he pulled them on without protest, only sighing softly as he struggled into them.

Shinji thought they both looked like sex and he was damn near drooling as he wandered over to first hug Rien, sliding his hands up the bared chest before settling on his shoulders and kissing him, grinning with a touch of awe because he had almost forgotten just how fit Rien was; toned down to the bare essentials for work. And Kippei…as soon as the leather pants were on, almost like paint only so much better, Shinji had his arms wrapped around him and his hands petting Kippei’s ass. That was the hottest thing, hands down, he had ever felt. He grinned and leaned up to kiss him teasingly. Akira wasn’t going to know what walked into his club.

Kippei kissed him back, more seriously, holding him tight and deepening the kiss with slow, thorough patience.

“You look good,” he noted, hands settling on Shinji’s hips as he held him back to look at him, admiring the view. Good, hell. Shinji looked fantastic.

Shinji grinned, loving the kiss and the look on Kippei’s face in equal proportion. He smirked and kissed Kippei one last time before almost skipping to the door.

“Good, because I’m going to drive you insane tonight!” he promised before disappearing out into the lounge again, reaching down to scoop up Hyun-ki and kiss her loudly on the cheek.

Ishan was just staring because no fucking way was that a guy, and yet it was, and holy shit he was …pretty. Weirdly so! He felt a blush creeping over his cheeks because An had warned him, but even when he’d seen him before he’d been looking homey enough that it hadn’t really sunk in. Now he looked like sex, and Ishan was almost nervous to see his lovers.

An hid her smile, knowing that Ishan was way out of his depth here, but Shinji really did look very pretty, and when Kippei and Rien came in a few minutes later, they looked just as much like sex as Shinji did. Enishi had dragged Toshio off to change as well, and they came in shortly after, somewhat spruced up but not quite as dramatically as the Takayama boys.

Toshio simply didn’t own anything that Rien would have considered clubbing clothes, and Enishi’s big frame was not suited to slinky skintight things, but he cut an impressive figure anyway. Toshio was already clinging to his back when they came back in, apparently sleeping on his shoulder.

“Ready to go?” Rien asked, looking at Shinji and bending down to give Yuni a kiss of his own, reminding her that they were going to be out for a little while and back soon, and Annie and Ishan were staying with her.

Ishan helped reassure her it was okay, but he really thought Shinji was the one needing reassurance, the way he was clinging to her and kissing her over and over. Damn spoiled child, but she looked like she needed it. He watched in amusement as Shinji had to be almost bodily lifted through the door, while Toshio was  dragged slumbering on Enishi’s back.

He waited until the car had backed down the driveway and they really were gone before looking at An in relief.

“Your family is so strange.”

An just smiled, hugging Yuni reassuringly and stroking her hair back. “Pretty girl,” she sing-songed, “a pretty pretty girl sitting in my lap…” She got up then, moving to the couch which had more room and patting the seat beside her, beckoning to Ishan. It wasn’t your average normal date, but she had a feeling they were still going to have a pretty good time.